textures | tones

Today’s song is by the Beatles, or maybe more specifically John Lennon, but either way they’re kind of one and the same to me which may be blasphemous, but either way, and is called “Jealous Guy.” I actually specifically when I think of this song think of the Elliott Smith version. He can actually even do the whistle solo! which I obviously can’t.

I’m in a right sort I tell ya. I didn’t make it to my concert, which seemed ok, though I really wanted to go and had gotten everything ready for it even. But the time came to go, and I just didn’t want to move. The sun through the curtains was exacerbating a terrible headache, and I just wanted to curl up in bed, which is what I did, what I have been doing, and what I intend to continue doing after I post this. I feel like I haven’t spoken to a human being in person in so long. I texted the appropriated people and got appropriate responses saying I wasn’t going to be there. Cary always emails me now when there’s things he wants me to do. He incidentally responded to my response asking to be paid for July, but he skipped over that part of my response and just talked about other things. Is this a bad sign? Have I talked about this already? My father has always been like this but he just sends me very long essay length emails updating literally everything that’s happened since the last time he sent me an essay. And I talk to Maria online, and I blog here. I really want to talk to somebody…

I do have an interesting new project to do for Maria. She’d like me to either post or email her some of my fantasies about the future, the life we’d have together. I think it probably more appropriate to email those to her rathe than actually post them here, but I can introduce a couple of topics that I’m sure to touch on:

1. Where we’re living, what city, what country, what part of what city, whether apartment or house.
2. I’m really big on interior decoration, so as silly as it is I have details for even the tiniest minutiae of where we ultimately live, floors, carpets, tiles, back splashes, kitchen layouts, bathroom layouts.
3. What we’re doing during the week, our jobs, day jobs, part time jobs.
4. The trips we’d take during the weekend, driving cross country across China, the food we’d eat, the food we’d cook.

This probably covers the broader outline of what it is I will email her. I’ll look over them after they’re written and if appropriate I’ll post here. It’ll be interesting to see if any of these can come to fruition…