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How NOT to make a burger

Ingredients:

  • 200 g (.46 lbs) extra-lean hamburger patty, pre-formed, individually-wrapped
  • 1 sesame bun, preferably frozen
  • Shredded white “cheese”
  • “Pickles,” otherwise known as ZhaCai, literally “Pressed Vegetables” (no dill was harmed in the making of this pickle)
  • Garnish: 1 lettuce leaf, sliced tomatoes and onions
  • Seasoning: Salt, pepper, Worcestershire sauce, red cooking wine, cooking oil

Equipment:

  • Spatula
  • Saute pan and lid
  • Stove
  • Microwave
  • Pizza oven

Directions:

  • Season both sides of patty with liberal amounts of Seasoning
  • Put patty in saute pan on high heat
  • Cover with lid to cook
  • When bottom looks “done,” flip, cover, and repeat
  • When both sides look “done,” put in microwave for 1-2 minutes at your discretion
  • Put back in saute pan to cook away any excess liquids that may have escaped while microwaving
  • At this point, put sesame bun into pizza oven to defrost/toast
  • Sprinkle top of patty lightly with “cheese,” then put into pizza oven to melt
  • Wait 2 minutes for everything to finish in the pizza oven
  • Place patty between sesame bun, top with Garnish, and you’re done!

To serve:

  • Prepare a small pile of deep-fried, frozen french fries
  • Create an elaborately European, but small, side salad, complete with vegetable “towers” and hash-patterned drizzles of dressing
  • Arrange everything delicately in quadrants on a square plate
  • Provide an individual crock of ketchup

Promise: This will NOT be how I serve my new hamburgers at Connections Bar & Grill. I just wanted to show just how far we’ve come and in such a short time.


Posted by sean x. l. on November 4th, 2009 - 3:15 pm
Filed Under :: china
Tags :: , ,
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One Response to “ How NOT to make a burger ”

  1. maria j.g.
    November 6th, 2009

    Honey, this post cracks me up. I really can’t wait till we have this thing up and running.

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  • Milestones

    • March 4, 2010 - S. files 2009 US State and Federal tax returns from China
    • March 3, 2010 - M. turns in MBA application for BiMBA
    • March 2, 2010 - M. takes GMAT, score 740
    • February 21, 2010 - Lantern Festival in China, fireworks FINALLY end
    • February 15, 2010 - S. and M.'s 2 year anniversary, celebration postponed for a month
    • February 14, 2010 - Happy Year of the Tiger!
    • February 14, 2010 - S. and M. celebrate first Valentine's Day in China together
    • February 14, 2010 - S. and M. celebrate first Chinese New Year in China together
    • February 1, 2010 - M. turns in MBA application for Tsinghua
    • January 14, 2010 - S. and M. go to Seoul, Korea again to get on their next visa entry
    • January 1, 2010 - Happy New Year in China!
    • December 25, 2009 - S. and M.'s first Christmas in China; successful Christmas buffet at Connections Bar and Grill
    • December 19, 2009 - S. performs Handel's Messiah with the IFC in China!
    • December 16, 2009 - S. performs at the British Embassy with the IFC
    • December 15, 2009 - S. and M. open Chinese bank account
    • December 14, 2009 - M. starts taking Chinese classes
    • December 10, 2009 - S. is really managing Connections Bar and Grill; huh?
    • December 1, 2009 - Renovations FINALLY finish at S. and M.'s Beijing apartment.
    • December 1, 2009 - Renovations finish at Connections
    • November 26, 2009 - S. and M's first Thanksgiving in China
    • November 22, 2009 - S.'s first concert performance in China with the IFC Children's Chorus
    • November 18, 2009 - S. and M.'s China visa expires for the first time
    • November 16 to 18, 2009 - S. and M. go to Seoul, Korea for visa purposes
    • November 15, 2009 - S. celebrates his 26th birthday in China
    • November 13, 2009 - S. joins the International Festival Chorus in Beijing
    • October 31, 2009 - Renovations begin at Connections Bar and Grill
    • October 30, 2009 - M. gives talk at China University of Political Science and Law
    • October 24, 2009 - M. runs first race in Beijing, the 3rd Annual Pride in Beijing "10K"
    • October 23, 2009 - M. has first "non-S. et. al." business lunch
    • October 22, 2009 - M. sits in on iMBA class at BiMBA, BeiDa
    • October 20, 2009 - M. sits in on iMBA class at Tsinghua University
    • October 13, 2009 - S. and M.'s apartment gets internet
    • October 11, 2009 - S. and M. move in together
    • October 11, 2009 - S. and M. move into their own apartment in Beijing
    • September 25, 2009 - M. takes first run in Beijing
    • September 22, 2009 - S. and M. move to China
    • September 19, 2009 - S. and M. christen "Bob"
    • September 14, 2009 - S. and M. take last vacation in States to Carmel, CA
    • September 12, 2009 - S. and M. attend their going away party at Craig and Becky's
    • September 12, 2009 - M. sells her car
    • September 11, 2009 - S.'s last day at VS Media
    • September 7, 2009 - S. and M. get one way tickets to China
    • September 5, 2009 - M. gets added to S.'s checking account, making it "their" checking account
    • September 4, 2009 - M. finishes her MCLE
    • September 3, 2009 - S. and M. approved for visas to China.
    • August 31, 2009 - M. applies for visas for S. and M.
    • August 30, 2009 - S. gets new glasses after nearly five years
    • August 30, 2009 - S. and M. book last vacation in US to Carmel by the Sea
    • August 29, 2009 - M. transitions to T-Mobile pay-as-you-go cell phone, saying goodbye to Verizon
    • August 29, 2009 - M. submits paperwork to roll over SMRH 401k to IRA
    • August 15, 2009 - S. visits OH and meets M.'s immediate family for first time
    • August 10, 2009 - S. gives notice to VS Media, last day September 11, 2009
    • August 9, 2009 - M. visits RI/OH, meets twin nephews for first time
    • August 8, 2009 - M. purchases gap insurance
    • August 7, 2009 - M.'s last day at SMRH; thanks for the memories
    • July 31, 2009 - S. and M. move to his father's home
    • July 24, 2009 - S. moves collective furniture to his mother's home, moves out of BHT #1339 and into M's apt., BHT #1742
    • July 24, 2009 - M. 1st chair at trial, fails at submitting the stipulation, but inadvertently gets the case dismissed
    • July 23, 2009 - Everything OK with M.'s oral surgery
    • July 23, 2009 - S. sells his car for $8,800.00
    • July 22, 2009 - M. sells her couch for $600.00
    • July 21, 2009 - M. gives notice to SMRH, last day August 7, 2009
    • July 16, 2009 - M. gets oral surgery to remove wisdom teeth/cyst
  • To Do

    • M. - Finish scholarship applications
    • M. - File tax return
    • S. and M. - Go to ??? for visa purposes, again
    • S. and M. - Get together Z visa stuff
    • S. and M. - Find new apartment
    • S. - Epiphany website
    • S. - West Campus website
    • S. - IFC website
    • S. - Connections website
    • S. - Get a job